Just feel like typing..

Hello there,

It has been awhile since I last wrote my thoughts here. I don't know why but I've just been too caught up with dayre (www.dayre.me/lianmeiting) and it just feels easier to write my immediate thoughts and ramblings over there instead. Ahh, the thing about social media, too many of them to keep up with!

Twitter - used to be all the rage but now is dead (omg it rhymes).
Instagram - still going on really strong but everyone (including me) just stopped being spontaneous and so much goes on before posting 1 picture.
Blog - the blogging world is filled with advertorials now. I'm guilty of it as well and I can't remember how long it has been since I wrote a proper post here like I used to.
Snapchat - I'm not fully committed to it because sometimes I like taking a break from social media and so I only post things like once every 2-3 days there.

So here I am, back and it just feels so weird to be putting my thoughts into words without having any pictures. I guess I just got used to putting up quality posts (lengthy ones with tons of pictures) here instead of ones with just my voice.

Now now.. where do I begin.

Where did I even left off?

my last proper blog post here was my Maldives trip. Woah, that was pretty long ago. I'm currently planning a series of blog entries on my recent Japan trip. There are soooo many pictures so do bear with me for awhile before I post it all here :)

I guess I will just update you guys on my life right now, since it has been awhile since we had something heart-to-heart.

I'm currently working full time at the same company for the past 2 years and when I knock off after work, I will either be attending events or going for yoga or my weekly pole dancing class. & that is on top of meeting my different group of girlfriends and weekends are always for SX. So you can tell how packed my schedule is & that's why I haven't had time to blog "quality" posts here because editing pics and all that just takes up too much time so I'm always writing on my dayre instead. But I'm going to try to fix things around here (been saying it for the longest time), to just f*cked it with the quality posts and just write my thoughts here whenever I have verbal vomit. Ok?

Wedding planning

So as you know, SX proposed to me last year around august and we are planning to get married in 2016. How far along are we with the wedding planning?

Almost zero.

We only just gave our "八字" to the master and will for our appointment before I find out our wedding date. So before that is done, I couldn't really start looking around for hotels, can I? I know both SX and I wants to get married in the later part of 2016, we are looking at the months of September to November. So let's hope that there is a weekend in there that is auspicious for us. I'm not really super superstitious but my fiance is pretty much of a believer.

I have a few hotels picked out and my top choice for now is The Fullerton. I do not want the huge ballroom at the basement but rather the one on the higher floors. But I'm not sure if it is big enough to fit like 18 tables? I attended a wedding lunch there once and it was so pretty, ceiling to floor glass windows and it was all white and best of all, my favorite - high ceiling!

Oh yah, speaking of that.. I made a head start on the wedding guest list!!
So proud of myself lah. I spent like 1 hour plus trying to list family members from the Lian (dad) & Chin (mom) family and my close group of friends + tentative friends that I will invite. I even help list down SX's friends and so far we have around.. 150 guests? I went online and did some research and it seems like most hotels need a minimum of 18 tables.. hmm.. so we will see how.

I didn't put down many friends on my list because I didn't want our wedding to be a big show or anything like that. I only want friends who are truly happy for us to be there. So, I will not be inviting any primary school or secondary school friends that I'm not really in contact. I also am not inviting any colleagues or my bosses. I just want an intimate wedding!

So... besides hotel, guest list, and wedding date... the other important big items to settle is pre-wedding shoot and bridal gown package. I'm pretty interested in Zwedding and Digio but seems like quite a few friends of mine have used Digio so maybe I'll go with Zwedding. Some other on my list that I'm considering is French Wedding as well. But I think most important of all, I gotta head down and try out the dress and feel which one is THE ONE. Haha.

As for our pre-wedding shoot, we are planning to have it in Japan and are in talks with a wedding photography company in Osaka, we even met them on my recent Japan trip and are still in discussion on the collaboration. If it doesn't happen, I will still go ahead with Japan for my pre-wedding shoot lah, it just happened that they contacted me so if can save some $$ on this also good!!

Okay, this post is getting pretty lengthy.

I will be back soon with more personal posts ok. Thank you for bearing with my advertorial-filled blog, I am trying to find a balance and hopefully I can stick to it!
 

SQ diary - Final

Hey y'all,

I know this blog post is super late.

I just kinda lost my train of thoughts after writing SQ diary 1 and 2, which I will link it here:

→ SQ diary part I ←

→ SQ diary part II ←

& here I am back with part III.

I didn't expect it to be so highly requested. Like, I thought you guys were probably bored of reading all about it after part 1 and 2. I guess I was wrong because I got so much hate in my askfm for not posting part 3. Readers called me a liar for not keeping my promise and all kinda crazy accusations because part 3 of my SQ diary was not up. *inserts WTF face*

& that made me lose even more interest in writing part 3 because I felt like I was writing because I was "forced" to. -___-

Of course, there were nice readers who jumped to my defense and asked me to ignore those comments and told me to take my own sweet time and they would wait patiently because they know I'm busy and have a life too. *Love you guys*

Everything here on my blog, be it paid advertorials, sponsored product reviews or experiences, I write them willingly and I hate being chased or forced to churn out a blog entry . I just feel like it wouldn't be honest or I would just be writing for the sake of it and it shows. I believe you readers are not stupid and can tell when a blogger is just blogging for the sake of money and not writing truthfully.

Okay, enough ranting.

Let's get down to........

My SQ Diary part III

Life as an SQ girl

I've been asked "How is it like to be flying with SQ? If you didn't get into SQ, would you fly with other airlines?". And to be honest, I wouldn't fly with any other airlines other than Singapore Airlines. If I were to fail the interview, I would probably just gave up the idea of wanting to be a stewardess and move on to another job. And why is that so?

The 1st reason would be a superficial one.. I love the uniform.

Yes, the kebaya is the signature of Singapore airlines. You can spot an SQ girl in kebaya miles away from the airport. I feel proud when I don the uniform (though sleepy spells occurs soon, inside joke that all SQ crew relates to) and it has always been my childhood dream to wear one. Yes, it is super body hugging and really uncomfortable at times and despite how much complains you hear about the uniform from fellow sq girls, deep down, we all love wearing the kebaya.

The 2nd reason would be the destinations that Singapore airlines flies to and also where we are based at, which is Singapore. I have friends who flew with Emirates and have to be pack up and move to Dubai, and also friends in JAL(Japan Airlines) who had to go to Japan for a few months for training. To me, packing up my bags and going abroad to stay for a long period of time is definitely a No-No.

To me, being an SQ girl has more pros than cons.

The salary was good (not super high but good enough).
I was spending like I had all the money in the world. I didn't buy many branded bags like my other colleagues because I know that my love for most bags are just phases and I will get bored of it soon enough. But I did spend like I didn't care. I would just enter any boutiques, pick out clothes,shoes and makeup without looking at the prices because I knew I was able to afford them and my bank account would not feel a strain. Even when I do flip the tags over and it is like S$190 for a Zara blazer, I would just purchase it without feeling a pinch. Whenever I'm back in Singapore, I would want to dine in restaurants and I would order alot. I've noticed that's one trait in most SQ stewardesses. We are usually the ones to order when out with friends and we will make sure there is more than enough to go around the table. And surprisingly, even though I didn't really control the way I spent, my savings in my bank account was still growing each month. It wasn't growing as much as other stewardesses who I've met who were really strict with themselves (I once met this stewardess who ate mostly cup noodles when she was overeas to save $) but the amount of savings I had was good enough for me.

Being able to travel the world was definitely at the top of the pro's list.
If not for SQ, I would never have been to all the countries that I've flew to. I was in my early-mid twenties when I was flying around the world and going to places where most of my peers have never been to. I've set foot in United Kingdom, United States, France, Netherlands, Switzerland, Germany, South Africa, Turkey, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Korea, India, Indonesia, Philiipines, Australia, New Zealand. Come on, if I were to pay out of my own pocket money for the air ticket to these countries, I would definitely be unable to cross out 50% of what I've listed.
So for all that experience (having authentic meals at each country, visiting famous landmarks, experienced all 4 seasons, purchasing items that are not available in Singapore)  in my 1.5 years of flying, I am thankful.

Switzerland, Lion of Lucerne.

Switzerland, Mt Titlis.

Germany, Munich, Neuschwanstein Castle.

Russia, Moscow, Saint Basil's Cathedral.

Turkey, Istanbul, Blue Mosque.

USA, Los Angeles, Beverly Hills.

 

 

USA, Los Angeles, Disneyland.

 

South Africa, Johannesburge, Some Safari feeding a giraffe.

USA, San Francisco, Pier 39 @ Fisherman's Wharf.

Netherlands, Amsterdam, Zaanse Schans Windmills.

South Korea, Myeong dong.

I may not have been rostered all the routes that SQ goes to but it is okay. I will try to visit those places on my own with my loved ones. First destination I'm going to conquer is - Maldvies! (Can't wait for July!!!)

A lot of people love to ask "what's your favorite destination?" & boy is it hard to come up with an answer. Off the top of my head, my reply would usually be - Japan, London, Paris, Amsterdam, San Francisco. So yes, these are my top 5 countries.

United Kingdom, London, Stonehenge.

United Kingdom, London, Tower bridge.

I've been rostered for London so many times, like almost every month since I've been trained to fly on the a380 airbus. But each time I see a London flight on my roster, I still feel really happy! Some crew hate flying to there because of the long hours (12 hours avg) but I love the city so much, the hardwork onboard is so worth it!

Japan, Tokyo, Hachiko Monument.

& Japan, I mean, come on.. who doesn't love Japan!? The food, the people, everything there is just so amazing. I am planning to go next year for like 10 days mininum. I've never eaten anything horrible in Japan before. Like even food that I've bought from their family mart or Lawson (like our 7-11) is also super yummy! I can just waltz into any random restaurant at Shibuya area and have like ramen that tastes 5x better than Singapore's. So I came to this conclusion: it is almost impossible to find horrible food in Japan.

France, Paris, Eiffel Tower.

As for Paris - the city of love, even though I don't shop much there, except for occasional indulgence in expensive designer bags & accessories, I still look forward to each flight there. I'll always try to go to the Eiffel tower when I'm there because even though I've seen it a couple of times, I still find myself not getting enough of it. My best memory was when half of the crew on my flight went to the Eiffel tower together and we just laid down on the grass, have gelato, take pictures and admire the view before us.

Lying on the grass...

taking in the beauty of this view.

I WANNA DO THIS AGAIN!! With my loved ones this time round!

Waited till sunset just to witness the Eiffel Tower sparkle.

France, Paris, The Lourve.

France, Paris, Arc De Triomphe.

Another significant pro of being a cabin crew is that we do not bring our work home. Once we step out of the aircraft, it is FREEDOM~~ until the next flight. And we do not experience Monday Blues. I sometimes get home from a flight at 7+am and go to bed when my neighbours just left their house for work. I do not have to get stuck in the morning office crowd and when I do go out and shop in Singapore, it is mostly weekdays and I don't have to squeeze with the weekend crowd. And as what most crew always say "Flying is not a job, it is a lifestyle." because when you are at work, it doesn't really feel like work. & when you are busy serving out food and attending to passenger's requests, fixing drinks, taking care of this and that, the time just flies by and the next thing you know, you'll hear the captain's voice over the PA announcing "cabin crew, please prepare for arrival" and that is one of the best things to hear onboard.

So, after I've listed all the positive and fun things about flying, the next thing I'm gonna get asked is "then why did you quit flying?"

Well, even though the lifestyle of a cabin crew may seem to be very attractive and many told me that I'm stupid for quitting because so many people would love to be in my position, I still submitted my resignation letter to the office.

I left SQ not because of the irregular long hours of flying or that my body clock is permanently screwed up (sometime when I depart from Singapore, it is day time here and when I step out of the plane 10 hours later, the sun is still shining bright at the other country due to the time difference).
It was not because of the demanding passengers that I sometimes have to deal with who can be reallllly ridiculous and I still got to put on my best smile and talk to them in the most polite manner.
It was also not because of the cabin crew culture where sometimes junior crew get into uncalled for situations because of bitchy senior stewardesses.

The reason for me leaving one of the best jobs in the world was simply because - I don't wish to be away from Singapore anymore. I know right, like WTF do I even mean. It's not Singapore that I miss. It is the people - friends, family and of course, my dear boyfriend.

"But, don't you get off days after each flight?"

Yes, we do. But the off days are short. A 3 days flight warrants 1 off day in Singapore, 5 days flight warrants 2 off days and a 7 days and above flight will give me 3 off days. It may seem enough to you but to me, it is not.
Okay, imagine this: I return from a 3 days flight on Tuesday afternoon, I'll have the whole of Wednesday off and Thursday I'll be jetsetting to another part of the world. But, if my flight on Thursday is early in the morning, I'll have to be home early on Wednesday to pack my luggage and get enough sleep before I report for my next flight. It just seems to me like every time I come back, I have not enough time in Singapore. It was when I kept dreading to go to work that I knew I would not stay long in this job.

Another thing that made me confirm my decision about quitting was on this particular night when I was overseas, just checked into my hotel room, took a good hot shower, ordered room service and was flipping through channels on the TV when I received a whatsapp message on my phone. My brother told me that a family member was admitted to the hospital. He thought that I should be aware even though I was miles away. You have no idea how much I wanted to fly back to Singapore at that point. I felt so helpless that I was stuck at some country when I should be back in Singapore with my family members. I know me being there would not help anything but I just don't want to ever regret if anything was to go wrong and I wasn't there.

I once flew with this steward and even though we weren't particulary close on the flight, we did hang out for meals and I remembered him being really chatty and always smiling. About 9-10 months later, we were rostered to fly together again and this time round it was just a short turnaround flight and I said hi and asked if him remembered me and he did. He seemed kinda down and I decided to not ask why and just continued the conversation asking the usual thing that crew always ask one another "How's your roster this month? Any good flights or not?", and he replied that for the entire month he would be doing turnarounds or short flights. Naturally I asked why and he told me that someone dear to him just passed away and needed to be around his family. I did not ask further and I really wanted to give him a big hug but that would be inappropriate because we were in our uniforms and we weren't close enough for me to do that. & not long after, he tendered his resignation too.

Because of flying, I've missed out on my own cousin's wedding as I was still under probation and could not change flights. I've also missed out on tons of family gatherings, birthdays and dinner dates with friends because I was away from Singapore 70% of the time. I was also away on important occasions like Chinese New Year and most Public Holidays. I remembered how upset I was to be away for an entire week during CNY that I ended up crying in the hotel room because I really wanted to be back home with my family celebrating such events.

They say that you can never have the best of both worlds, so I knew I had to sacrifice one or the other. I've decided that I've seen enough, I've flown enough, I may not have saved as much as I would like to but I think it is time to leave. I rather be here in Singapore with the people that matter than in Japan having the freshest sushi alone (or rather with colleagues that I've just met).
Even though I got to visit many places but each time I visit a significant landmark, I'll always be wishing that my loved ones would be there to experience it with me. I mean, what are good times and memories if you can't share them with people that are important to you?

So yes, once my bond was up (1.5 years) I sent my resignation letter to the office and I was in the best of mood during my final few flights. I went to work smiling and being super duper ultra nice to the passengers because I knew I would never again have the chance to don the uniform, walk tall and proud in the kebaya and sashay down the plane aisle attending to passengers. Now that I'm typing all these out, I actually kinda miss doing that. Hahaha, aiya humans are "fan jian" one lah.

Okay, so here's the last point that I'm gonna address on my final SQ post which is.. finding a new job and readjusting to a lower salary. Many of the crew that left SQ told me they will never leave without securing a job. But for me, I'm the kind that goes "YOLO~~" HAHAHA, so I decided to just quit and give myself a month's worth of break before I started looking for a new job. I did go through the panic phase where I wondered if I could ever find a job with a decent salary. I was sending resumes almost every night, searching for jobs on JobsDB or Jobstreet. I just kinda decided on a career that can give me a stable income that increases quite well over time and just sent resumes to the companies. I had zero experience in the job that I'm currently holding but I just had faith & hope that I may get a call back.. and I did!

Definitely salary wise, it will not match up to what I was drawing per month at SQ, but I am glad that I found a job that pays reasonably well.

I've left SQ for about 1.5 years already and I must say that sometimes when I think back on those memories of me being a crew, it kinda feels like I'm dreaming. Like, did I really did all that? When I go to the airport for dinner or when I'm traveling, I'll look at the stewardess and think to myself that "Hey, I was once like them!" because it just feels so surreal. I don't know how to explain but it just felt like it sort of happened but didn't happen. If I'm not making any sense to you, sorry. HAHA.

So right now when people find out I'm an ex-SQ girl, they will always ask "Have you ever regretted quitting? Do you miss flying? " and here's my honest answer: OF COURSE I MISS! But, I mostly miss the shopping and the money. LOL.
I miss shopping at the Lawson or Family Mart in Japan, buying all the super cute snacks. I miss shopping in London, PRIMARK I LOVE YOU AND THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME. I miss buying makeup from the states because almost all the brands are cheaper than Singapore and I miss going to outlet shopping and... IHOP, I want those pancakes in my belly NOW! I miss the freedom I get when I'm overseas because once I check-in to the hotel, the entire duration of my stay, I do what I want and I go wherever I want. I miss doing nothing and just relaxing in the hotel room and enjoying all the shiok amenities like super huge and comfy beds, 5 star classy hotels and bubble baths anytime.

But you know what?

I know that I will miss my family, boyfriend and friends more than all the superficial stuff that I've mentioned above if I were to go back to flying.

So............ to ultimately answer your question: YES, I do miss flying for its perks... but I am genuinely happier now.

Ok, brain-fart.

I'm not sure what else to say.....I'll just leave it here and maybe continue tomorrow morning if I feel like adding anymore content.

XOXO.

Jolene's 21st.

Hey everyone, just a short update on my life.

I will stop complaining about being busy on my blog because its kinda starting to annoy me as well. Its like, I wonder is there something wrong with how I manage my time, or do I really have THAT much things to do, people to meet, appointment to fulfill. 

So I'll probably be ranting on my twitter instead. 

HAHA.

So its been almost 2 months since I joined my new company. Fitting in well. :) My boss has been amazing so far. He is so patient and understanding. :)) Super thankful to whoever up there who gave me all these luck.

Here's just a couple pictures taken 2 weeks ago at my friend's sister's 21st birthday.

With my dear boyfriend.

Face already so small still hide behind me!!!

Told him to lean forward. HAHA.

With the birthday girl, Jolene!

Take photo with 21 year old must act cute.

Hope you had a blast! :)

I can be Mr Pringles.

Awkward pose due to my height. 

FML.

Polaroid taken that night & it is now in boyfriend's wallet.

:)

Okay, will be back to update again.

-

Meanwhile, tomorrow is a really exciting day for me.

I know I won't regret it because I've been thinking about it for years.

& I'm not doing it for anyone, but myself.

May or may not be posting about it as I want to keep it private.

<3

Stepping forward.

Here are just somethings I wish to accomplish in the month of January.. 

- Fix my drawer from Ikea & pack up my room.

- Re-do my entire resume from scratch.

- Start looking for jobs & sending out resumes.

- Do another video/tutorial.

- Do a selling post for all my pre-loved clothes.

- Dye my hair ash-brown.

& also, for the rest of 2013 ..

- Maintain my room's neatness. 

- Go on at least 2 holiday trips this year. (JAPAN!)

- Save at least 10k.

- Get the house that we want. 

- Lose the 4kgs I gained during my stewardess days.

- Find a job that I enjoy which provides a decent pay. 

Hope I'm able to accomplish all that I've stated!

How about you?

What are your new year's resolutions.

Share them with me! 

:)

sleeptalking.

***

"sometimes, just sometimes,
I wish I can cry out all my frustrations, sadness, worries
& someone will be there to give me a tight hug,
telling me that they'll take care of everything and it will all be fine.
I need a break.
because I have a feeling it'll be not long before I collapse from the weight on my shoulders.

I almost never show it,
but what goes on in my head is a huge mess of uncertainty."

***

Never been more homesick

Lying on this really uncomfortable bed in Moscow, Russia, right now. There are like little dents on the bed so whenever I lie flat on my back for too long, I get very bad backaches. I want my seahorse brand bed that I have back home. The one that cost me only $500 but feels like a thousand bucks. 

Was looking through my photo albums on my macbook & realized I didn't post up many pictures that I've taken overseas during my work time. & I think its about time I start sharing a little of the adventures I've had over the past year.

This time, London.

A cup of hot chocolate during the cold weather, perfect.

With Janet on the tour bus.

A super sweet senior stewardess I met last year. & this year, we flew together again to Paris & she was still such a dear. If only everyone was as lovely as her.

After a 2.5 hours bus ride.

This was definitely worth it.

One of the perks of my job.

You get to visit the wonders of the world & get a picture with it so you can show it to your children years later.

With Sulwyn. 

Another stewardess that got along really well with me.

In fact, she was the one who taught me how to do french twist. 

I always think that the skies overseas are prettier.

See how pretty & fluffy the clouds are.

The must-see tower bridge.

It opens up & closes at a certain timing to let boats pass the bridge.

& we managed to watch it happen. Look closer at the bridge, see it going up? Its like that scene in Inception where all the walls/floors are moving. Cool shit.

It is my last day here in Moscow. Probably the last time I'll ever set foot here. Unless I were to come here on a holiday on my own. Which I highly doubt so.  I've been away from home for coming 10 days now. This is the longest I've ever been apart from my mom, dad, brother & of course, Shunxiong. I miss them all terribly. 

My dad texted me a couple days back when I was in Houston. "Take gd care n rest well. See u soon." Simple text. But it made my day. My dad rarely messages me when I'm away. I think he really misses me too. 

Many people say that my job is the best. Get paid to travel, to see the world, get paid when I'm sleeping overseas, get paid to try all types of food over the world, get paid to go shop & buy branded goods at a much cheaper price. YES. I would agree to all of that. But to me, that hardest part would be leaving my family, friends & loved ones. I've never really been an independent individual. So imagine how hard it was for me when I have to learn to be independent & do pretty much everything alone when I'm abroad. Yes, we do make friends with fellow colleagues, but, somehow it is just different. I've probably only really made less than 5 real friends. 

I can deal with the job being tiring, 14 hours flight sometimes, or even colleagues who are bitchy or nasty. All these, I can deal with. I just can't stand being homesick. I'm weak this way. Since young I've always spent a huge amount of time with my family. My house was always filled with people. My grandparents, my cousins, my aunt & uncle. See, I used to stay in a landed property & my cousins & aunt + uncle stayed together with my family & my grandparents. I was used to being around my family all the time. 

Okay, enough of all the emo talking. Always happens when I'm doing 4-sector flights. I'm gonna try to sleep now. & when I open my eyes tomorrow, I'll be preparing to check out of the hotel & be on a 10 hours flight back home to Singapore.

Oh, you have no idea how much I am looking forward to it.

:)

3 more months.

2012.

Happy new year everyone!!!

Its 3.39am and I'm back home from all the countdown and fireworks at Marina Bay Sands. Shunxiong's friends booked super huge room which was facing the city and we had an awesome view of the entire fireworks.

It lasted 6-7 minutes.

It was beautiful. 

And this picture was taken WITHOUT any zoom.

We were THAT close to it.

This is our 5th year entering a new year together.

& this boy here still has his legendary never-ending flu. >.<

Let's do the usual here, people.

I'll take a look back on the memorable stuffs I did in 2011 and what I plan to achieve in 2012. Its gonna be a short one though, I'm dying to go back to watching "How I Met Your Mother" on DVD. 

2011
♥ Got a new job which pays well.
♥ Went to Hong Kong with my triple Bs. aka Bird, Bro, Boyfriend.
♥ Converted myself from a Windows to a Macbook user.
♥ Became a bridesmaid for the 1st time. Sarah & James' wedding.
♥ Bought myself the 1st Chanel bag I'll ever own.
♥ Left MyFatPocket after being a Resident blogger for 2 years. :(
♥ Gotten much more independent.
♥ Travelled so many places in the world.
♥ Spent the most time away from home since birth.
♥ Saw snow for the first time.
♥ Shunxiong & I celebrated our 5th year anniversary.

2012
♥ Save.
♥ Exercise or get a gym membership.
♥ Get a home for Shunxiong & I.
♥ Taiwan trip in March with my triple Bs!!
♥ Go for another trip with boyfriend.
♥ Get a full body check up.
♥ Drink lesser.
♥ Buy no more than 2 branded bags. LOLOL.
♥ Love, cherish & appreciate life & the people around me.
♥ Save.

Again, Happy 2012 everyone.

I'm glad I was able to spend it in Singapore.

:)

Going off to Melbourne tomorrow with Hazel!!

So glad to have a familiar face.

The future.

I love him. 

& yes, as cheesy as this is gonna sound, I do want to spend the rest of my life with this person. It never fails to amaze me how far the two of us have come. This year marks our 5th year together. As the dates are drawing nearer & nearer, I really wonder will there be any changes in our relationship. We meet each other all the time. What will this drastic absence do? I just have this sick feeling in my stomach whenever I think about the future. I don't want to lose this. Us. Yes, I chose this career, some of you may say that I asked for it. But I believe we are stronger than that. Scratch that. I know we are stronger than that. 

Always have, always will.