We're PREGNANT!

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Time to share our little secret, we're having a baby! This explains why I've been so ill and missing from the world, been a little busy building a little mini-us inside of me.

So I just passed my 1st trimester and visited the gynae in the morning for regular scans & drew 2 tubes of blood for the Panorama Test. 

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So let's rewind a little, remember how I was going on about not being ready to start a family at the beginning of this year? I think I wrote that post in Feb...

This post was written on Feb 27 this year, and guess what?

I found out I was pregnant in June. 😂

On my birthday.

See, we didn't plan to start a family this year cause we thought we just got married and wanted to wait at least a year before we tried. But I guess god has his plans?

We've always been careful and avoided getting pregnant whenever we got intimate cause we wanted to wait till we were "ready". But this one night, we were both out partying with our friends and let's just say we had a little too much to drink. 😂

So the next morning I was panicking cause we've always been careful, except this time

Looking back, the situation was damn funny and even our close friends laughed at us and told me to chill..

"aiya one time only, you think so easy pregnant meh"

"Anyway you two are married what, nvm lah!"

"Wah if really one shot one kill, means SX very strong"

I was 2 weeks away from getting my period so that 2 weeks wait was the longest and most torturous wait ever.

The what-ifs were flooding my head and then one day I just told myself to let go and leave it to god.

2 weeks later, my period still wasn't here. I don't remember the exact date of when my period is supposed to arrive but it should be within these few days. So on June 8, my birthday, right after SX came into the room with a cake and sang me the bday song, I told him "let's go buy a pregnancy kit."

And we drove to the nearby petrol kiosk in our pjs.. and we went back home into the bathroom where I took the test and we both stared at it in the bathroom for the next 1-2 mins..

& this was what we saw...

2 lines... means you're pregnant, even if the 2nd line is very very faint.

And when we saw it, SX started laughing and I started crying out of fear & a rush of mixed emotions 😂

& guess what I did?

 I made him go buy another pregnancy kit, cause I wanted to confirm 😂 

& then, the 2nd test showed only 1 line!!! Which means not pregnant.

So I was more confused that ever?

Then my friend drove down & passed me a 3rd pregnancy kit, and it was like 2+am at that time. There's no ClearBlue brand pregnancy kit at petrol kiosk or 24 hour supermarkets nearby our place, damn frustrating!!

& this was the 3rd pregnancy kit... which shows a really really really faint 2nd line.

I think I've pee-ed 3x in the course of 1 hour plus and that caused the pregnancy hormone level in my urine to be diluted? So it doesn't show on the 2nd and 3rd kit.

It was around 3am at that time and SX told me to just go sleep and we'll test again tomorrow morning. But omg how to sleep right?!?!?

So by the next morning... I took 5 freaking pregnancy kit, hahahahahah, I think I was living in denial!😂

My friends were all laughing at me when I sent them this image, they were like "YOU ARE FUCKING PREGNANT LAH"

SX was like "eh the amount you make me spend on buying pregnancy kit, can let you go to doctor and check already lor"

Hahaha & guess what?

I did just that. 😂😂😂😂

I went to visit a doctor the next morning and got my blood tested and the doctor said she will let me know the results by 5pm that day. But prior to that, I showed her the image of the 5 pregnancy kit I had and she laughed and said... "I'm pretty sure you are pregnant but if you want to be sure, the blood test can be done too" 

Actually even before the doctor called me at 5pm to tell me "Congratulations, you're pregnant" over the phone, I already knew I was pregnant.

But I don't know why I just needed someone else to tell me that. 

So... reality didn't really sink in for awhile. And I felt bad like, why am I not feeling that burst of happiness when I find out I'm pregnant? I was guilty that the first thought in my head was "Omg, how?!". It's not that I wasn't happy, I was, a tiny part of me. But I was more frightened and didn't know what to do or expect.

It wasn't until my 9 week visit that I felt that heart swelling happiness that mothers should feel..